Hear that? It’s the sound of a kid giggling in the back seat, somewhere around mile forty of a long drive.
Here are 51 short animal jokes, sorted into six groups: farm, zoo, ocean, pets, bugs and birds, and reptiles. Slip one into a lunchbox, read a few on the road, or save the last one for bedtime.
Farm Animal Jokes
Nine jokes from the barnyard.
- What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
- Why did the cow go to space? To see the Milky Way.
- What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
- Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
- What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud.
- What’s a horse’s favorite game? Stable tennis, of course.
- Why don’t ducks tell jokes while flying? They would quack up.
- What do you get when you cross a rooster and a bell? An alarm cluck.
- Why was the cow so good at math? It knew how to multi-moo.
Zoo and Wild Animal Jokes
Nine jokes from the zoo and the wild.
- Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a well-balanced meal.
- What’s gray, has big ears and a trunk? A mouse on vacation.
- Why do giraffes have such long necks? Their feet smell.
- What do you call a hippo in a hurry? A hippo-rush.
- Where do penguins keep their money? In a snow bank.
- What do you call a kangaroo that loves to nap? A pouch potato.
- Why are elephants so wrinkly? Have you ever tried to iron one?
- What do zebras eat for lunch? Stripe-ghetti.
- Why did the monkey like the banana? Because it had appeal.
Ocean Animal Jokes
Eight jokes from under the waves.
- Why don’t crabs share their toys? Because they’re shellfish.
- What do you call a whale that talks too much? A blabber-mouth.
- How do fish get to school? By octo-bus.
- What’s a shark’s favorite sandwich? Peanut butter and jellyfish.
- Why did the dolphin cross the ocean? To get to the other tide.
- What does an octopus wear when it’s cold? A coat of arms.
- Why are fish so smart? They live in schools.
- What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
Dog and Cat Jokes
Eight jokes about the pets at home.
- What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
- Why did the cat sit on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse.
- What’s a dog’s favorite pizza? Pupperoni.
- What do cats like to eat on a hot day? Mice cream.
- Why did the dog bring a ladder to the park? He heard the drinks were on the house.
- What do you call a cat that loves to bowl? An alley cat.
- Why does the puppy nap so much? He’s always dog-tired.
- What does a cat say when it drops a toy? Oh, my paws.
Bug and Bird Jokes
Nine jokes about small creatures and feathered friends.
- What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
- Why did the spider get a computer? To make a website.
- What do you call a snail on a boat? A snailor.
- Why do bees have sticky hair? They use honeycombs.
- What do ants wear to a party? Ant-ire that’s fancy.
- What did the parrot say when it ordered a snack? Polly wants a cracker.
- Why did the owl invite his friends over? He didn’t give a hoot who came.
- What do you call a ladybug that won’t stop talking? A chatterbug.
- Why did the firefly fail school? It wasn’t very bright.
Reptile and Dinosaur Jokes
Eight jokes with scales and a few big teeth.
- What do you call a turtle that flies? A shell-copter.
- Why did the snake cross the road? To get to the other ssssside.
- What do you call a frog with no legs? Unhoppy.
- Why did the crocodile cry? He was feeling a little croc-y.
- What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore.
- What’s a dinosaur’s favorite game? Tyrannosaurus Rex-cue.
- Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the P is silent.
- What’s green and goes up and down? A frog in an elevator.
